I feel bad

Last Saturday, while taking our evening bath, Joshua fell on the rock hard cement floor. It was completely MY fault & I feel so bad about it. I wasn’t able to watch him because I was rinsing my hair. He was just by my side then suddenly he was already falling.

What happened was he tried to get into the pail of water and lost his balance.

There was crying but something else made me freak out. I saw blood coming out from the back of his head.

Every parent’s nightmare. Seeing their child hurt & maybe in danger.

So after freaking out, putting cold compress on his bump, consulting the baby book, and bandaging his wound, Josh & I assessed that the boy is fine. His bump was not blue & black, it was just cut and there was loads (according to me) of blood because there are lots of veins in the scalp.

The boy was fine after a bit of crying, he was not vomiting, his eyelids were not dilated (we checked), and he was perfectly himself.

The whole night, I was monitoring him, I felt so guilty. I felt stupid. I felt reckless. I felt inadequate. Why the heck did God trust me with a baby, I’m so careless. I’m not at all perfect but I try my hardest for Joshua. Oh well, lesson learned. I should have known better, I should keep an eye on him 24/7.

I just can’t help thanking God that nothing serious happened to him.