Momma Stuff

Question of the Week # 6 : Meeting the Challenge of Motherhood

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I had been a entirely different person ever since I became a mom. I’m pretty sure other moms feel the same way. It was the best privilege ever presented to me but it comes with a lot of challenges. So the question of the week goes…

"What adjustments did you make in your life to fit the role of a mother? Can you share some tips to make your tasks easier?"

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Suffice to say, my life took a 360 degree turn when I became a mom. I've mentioned numerous times before how crazy my life was before. Not that I was a rebel, of course not, but I was self absorbed and really selfish. All I did was party and shop. Not that that's bad, I was just enjoying my youth and now that I have a baby to take care of, my priorities changed - big time.

Major adjustment was with my social life. It went down to zero after the baby was born. I was determined to be a hands-on mom despite working full time. My advantage was I worked at home so I can change my schedule a bit. I was also breast feeding the boy 100% until about he was 10-months old so that meant I can only be away for 3 hours (max).

Good thing my family, friends and hubby were supportive because, as a first time and somewhat young mom, I needed all the help I could get!

Whatever role I play now, I am always a mother first. Mother before an employee, daughter and sometimes even my being a wife comes in second. (but I've made adjustments on that too! hihi) It's not easy to adjust at first but now after 2 years, I can say that I am fully adjusted and I am very satisfied with how I've changed and how much I've grown and learned. Even thinking of baby #2 ahahaha ^_^

Some tips to make motherhood easier?

• Me time - It's a good idea to ask help in terms of caring for you child because motherhood is never easy. Of course we want to be as hands on as possible but we also need some 'me' time. It may sound selfish but even 1 hour a day of me time can steer you clear out of insanity. I know I've been there. Lack of sleep and too much work can drain you even if you think your super mom. So don't be afraid to ask for help, assistance and some time off to take a nap of enjoy a simple relaxing bath.
  
• Organize - Let's be realistic here, we can't be at all places at the same time, so when it comes to motherhood we should learn to sacrifice, prioritize and organize activities to be able to fit them all. Time management is the key. We have to have everything necessary close by (or inside a diaper bag ready for pickup) to avoid unnecessary delay or stress.
  
• Mommy day - I work full time from Monday to Friday, so during Saturdays I make it a point to spend the whole day with my son. Bonding with him and learning with him is very important for me and gives me the boost of energy to keep on going even if at times its tiring.
  

That's it for my tips. Also, if you are a full time working mom you may find these tips I found online helpful.

1. Get--and stay--organized. Your work time is precious and not as dependable as it would be if you worked in a traditional workplace. You can't afford to waste time looking for files, sorting through junk mail or even finding a pen. Keep everything clean and organized from the start. Have supplies available and in a place where you know you can immediately put your hands on them.
2. Have a plan. Some mompreneurs use paper organizers and some use tech gadgets, but all of them use some sort of planner to balance their work life with their family life. (Personally, I love the "Chaos Companion" organizer by Mommy Hulabaloo. It's a complete mom-inspired day planner.) Ideally, you should keep both personal and work appointments on the same calendar so you don't overbook or double up. And while it doesn't always work, you need to set aside hours for when you're going to get your work done. If you just wait for it to happen, it never will. Of course, you'll have to be flexible as your child-care provider will inevitably cancel, your kids will get sick and your spouse may occasionally need to work late.
3. Work with your family, not against them. When your children are little, make sure your office is kid-proof. Get covers for your computer and child-safe drawers on your filing cabinet, and keep your paperwork out of reach if you don't want your reports and invoices covered in crayon. Some women I've spoken with set up a child's office space within their office so that crayons, paper and activities are available to keep their kids busy. As your children get older, find ways to get them involved in your work. When they're old enough, let them stamp envelopes, fold fliers or shred paper. Just never let them answer the phone!
4. Think nap to nap, not 9 to 5. Break out of the 9-to-5 office hours' tradition. Your hours as a mompreneur might start before your family wakes up, continue during nap times and go on into the wee hours of the night. Prioritize appointments that need to be accomplished in person during the traditional day time hours. But understand that e-mail, filing, reading, and a lot of your other office tasks can be done at any hour of the day or night.
5. Stay ahead of the game. By the time evening hits, yes, you're exhausted. But take a few minutes to set out school clothes, set up the coffeepot, prepare lunches and clear your desk. You'll be so grateful to have a less chaotic morning if you do all this the night before. You might also want to consider getting up a little before your family does so you can exercise, take a shower or get some work done.
6. Suzy Homemaker who? You don't have to be Suzy Homemaker to be a good mom. Let go of your need to be Martha Stewart. Your priorities are your family and then your work. You don't have to be the mom that bakes the school brownies from scratch or hand-makes the costume for the school play. Choose your priorities--your kids will care more that you're there!
7. Schedule a mommy day. Every Tuesday used to be so stressful for me because I didn't have a nanny or my husband to help out at all. I prayed for long naps and few interruptions. Needless to say, most of the time, it didn't happen. So I finally decided to make Tuesdays a "mommy day." I worked more on Monday night and Wednesday to make sure I could have Tuesdays to myself. Now when I get work done on that day, it's an extra perk and not a source of distress.
8. Stay focused, and don't get sidetracked. One of the hardest things for work-at-home moms is getting sidetracked by children, laundry, dishes?well, you name it. Make a list each month of what you intend to get done. Then break the list down week by week, then day by day. If you stay focused, you can stay committed to getting things done.
9. Get help from your partner, then thank him for it. It's very difficult to succeed without help, so communicate with your partner about how he can help you--you both need to remember you're juggling two full-time jobs. Figure out how to parent and chore-share so you're both on the same page. Then tell your spouse how grateful you are for all his help.
10. Take care of you. How can you work out when you don't have enough time with your kids? How can you take a bubble bath when you're behind on a report? Realize now that there will never be enough time in the day to get everything done. Your in-box will still be full when you die, so learn to accept that fact now. It may seem like a clich?, but in this case, it's the truth: You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your family, your business and your home. Just mark it in your calendar!

Source: Fatherhood Foundation

Ciao!