For The First Time

{Disclaimer:This is not a "KC/Chard" post!!!!}

...I cried.

I went to bed crying because I miss him so much. When it comes to our my relationship with Josh I don't really "show" how I feel at times. Like when we are at a party and he looks so good in his shirt I have this urge to hug and kiss him right then and there but I don't. I just look and smile.

When were alone that's where all the "mushy" things come out. Last night was the 5th night that we were not able to talk online properly because he has a problem connecting to his new router. Recently he has transferred houses and he now lives alone, on a basement of some family.

The family agreed to share their connection with him as part of his "rental" fee. The problem is, his laptop cannot seem to find the signal. Is this because the router was turned invisible? Or he just needs to reset his PW or SSID? Whatever that is, whatever the reason is I really hope he gets his connection ASAP because its killing me.

Its not because I am alone here and all, clearly I am not. I have my family & most importantly I have Ozzy. Its the thought of hubby spending the whole night at home alone. He's alone and I can't help but wonder - is this all worth it?

The distance. The separation. The not-seeing-his -son-grow. Is this all worth it in the end? We all know money is not everything. Money can't make us happy. Family does. Sure he may earn a lot but does that really matter?!!!!

Well, the fact is we really need to save up. Ghad reality bites hard.

The only good thing about him being away so much is that I lose weight missing him this much. I guess that's something to smile about despite everything else. Hai.