5 Things..

...I want my kids to know before they grow up.

First, I want my kid(s) to grow up with respect for their elders, neighbors, playmates, yaya, driver, teacher, vendors and everyone they deal with. I want him to know everyone is equal.

Second, It is important to me that my kid(s) have faith in God. I want my child to understand why we go to church every Sunday and why we pray everyday & not do it because mum says so. Simply, I want him to know God.

Third, I would want my child to know the value of hard work; that not everything he likes he can get. If he wants something he should do it and never rely on others. I want him to be independent.

Fourth, that mommy and daddy will support him in anything he is into provided that it is not violent or destructive. I want my child to grown up with an open mind and adventurous spirit.

Lastly, I want him to know that he is loved. Mostly by me(hehe!); he is loved by everybody. A child who grows up knowing he is loved will be confident, happy, contented, and will share that love to others.

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I'm human afterall.

I feel horrible.

In my frustration, I did not hesitate to give Joshua to his yaya despite his cries for mommy. I had been trying to put him to sleep for an hour already. His yaya is still new and so I put Joshua to sleep in the afternoons until such time he is comfy with his Yaya Lea.

We danced. I sang. He nursed. An hour passed & he was still struggling to keep his eyes open. I knew he was sleepy; his eyes were red. But he won’t sleep! Why?

I was tired and I had been MIA from my desk for an hour already. I had a few things to finish and I was frustrated.

Frustrated for not being able to put him to sleep & frustrated because he just won’t sleep!

I threatened to give him to his yaya if he won’t sleep, so he closed his eyes only to open it a few seconds later. He was laughing now. Giggling a bit. Calling out for his yaya. So..I gave him to his yaya.

“Good I can go back to work now.” I thought to myself.

But, as I did so, he cried. So naturally I gave in and tried to put him to sleep yet again. This time was no different, as soon as his yaya would leave the room he would again call out to her. I can’t believe it, the boy is testing me.

I was angry now. (and did I mention tired?)

His yaya came back in and so I left. I heard him shout and cry but I did not turn back. I continued walking. At that point I really gave up.

It felt horrible.

When I checked up on him 45 minutes later…he was asleep. The cook put him to sleep.
“Tulog man diay, daghan pa gyud drama.” I guess he was super tired from all the crying that he also gave up ~ and slept!

Haii…motherhood has its downside moments.

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Weaning

4 months shy of his 2nd birthday my grabby little monster still nurses with much gusto. I even joke that he ‘strikes anywhere’ like for example one time when we were watching TV, the boy was beside me… suddenly he was nursing! I was wearing a v-neck knitted shirt that time and yet he easily got though that. Another incident was when we showering together.. well you get the drift.

“Delikado sa chicks toh” my mom keeps on saying. Hahaha

Seriously though, I am slowly weaning him from nursing. But sad to say I am failing miserably! I know it’s partly my fault. When he insists on nursing instead of taking his bottle I oftentimes oblige because he gets into a fit & cry. Also, it is beneficial for me when I’m nursing him for example:

• I don’t need to get up in the middle of the night to get him milk, I just roll over & nurse him.
• Nursing easily puts him to sleep, without it; It may take hours for him to fall asleep. He prefers to be sung! And I suck at that when I nurse him I can get away without singing. nyahahaha
• We save a bit on milk. He consumes 1 900g. can in 1 week and a half. If not; he’ll consume the can in less than a week.
• It’s our little bonding time (as if we don’t get enough!). I feel one with my baby when I nurse.
• It’s like exercising without really doing much (the way I like it.)
• I have an excuse to eat more….what?! I’m eating for two. ahahaha

So with all these benefits why am I in a hurry to wean the boy? That got me thinking; Society dictates that breastfeeding should only be done with babies up to 2 years. But some women breastfeed up until the age of 3 and more. This is called extended breastfeeding or “sustained breastfeeding”. It is believed that all benefits of human milk (nutritional,immunological and emotional) continue as long as the child nurses. This would also be a means for the child to bond with his mother.

So I read on negative impacts of sustained breastfeeding and found none.

I’ve actually found a very informative entry on extended breastfeeding from the site called Skinship and she quoted from Dr. Sears’s Baby Book (p.198): “Life is a series of weanings for a child: weaning from the womb, weaning from the breast, from your bed and from your home to school. The pace at which children go from oneness to separateness should be respected in all of these weaning milestones. /…/ We have studied long-term effects on thousands of children who have had timely weanings and have observed that these children are more independent, gravitate to people more than things, are easier to discipline, experience less anger and radiate trust./…/ In the normal process of oneness and separateness, it is not the mother who weans the baby, but the baby who weans from the mother.”

Having read that, I therefore conclude that it’s my baby’s right to nurse. Given that there are no major disadvantage of extended breastfeeding I will allow my son to self-wean. In his own pace. In his own time.

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Marriage Reality Check

A have read a very interesting article on the local magazine Good Housekeeping Jan-Feb2008 Issue.

The surprising, enlightening, and sometimes hard truths we all face after we walk down the aisle - and how they teach us about what love really means. By Ylonda Gault Caviness

8 Things no one tells you About Marriage.

1 You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?

Yup,I am guilty of thinking this. After the baby, the wedding & honeymoon your left with the daily routine of work-home-chores. It gets boring & monotonous. Suddenly you remember your life before marriage; parties, shopping & alone time. But digging deep; I am actually happy & fulfilled. I have found a purpose in my life right now. Something that was lacking before.

2 You’ll work harder than you never imagined.

And by work it means being patient enough to really ‘work’ to make the marriage work. As the woman I realized we have to work doubly hard because lets face it - men are pigs. I just keep my mouth shut & pick up after my hubby than nag because that will only take more energy out of me. Also, aside from the physical work (job&chores) there’s also a lot of sacrifices involved. Especially if your the woman.

3 You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe wake up madder).

Hahaha, correct. What’s the point of quarreling late at night when he’s clearly drunk & I’m clearly sleepy & super pissed already. Better get some rest & wait for the morning so that I can see clearly when I punch him in the face. Haha!

4 You will go without sex - sometimes for a long time - and that’s OK.

If you tell me this before baby + marriage I would have said, “How’s that possible?”. Now, I agree 100%. Sex is a lot of work. I consider it my exercise sometimes.

5 Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.

I admit, I am a know-it-all; I want things my way & I have super super high pride. Slowly though I realized (and hubby made me realize) that I am not always right & that he has a point (sometimes!) ahaha. But anyway I’m really working hard on the pride-thingie. It’s really hard though.

6 A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.

After getting married, petty fights and huge fights would come our way and that’s normal. Its even healthy. I have learned to swallow my pride at times and I know what battles to fight and when to just let things pass. Fighting is OK (just no hitting&no fighting in front of kids) because you get to discuss issues that are sometimes not acknowledged.

7 You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.

Oh yes. Nagging will not get you no where. I realized, the more one nags, the more the other person ignores the requests. ‘Put this here’ , ‘no! not there!’, ‘why did you put that there?’, becomes blah! blah! blah..to the other person (usually the husband) so, instead of the usual nagging & blackmailing, I just do it quietly & hope that one glorious day, the hubby follows suit.

8 As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.

My greatest fear is being cheated on. In my mind - if the guy cheats automatically he’s out of my life. No explanation needed. That’s why I keep tabs on my hubby’s friends & co-workers. If he goes out with friends, there should be no woman there! I even call him through video call and ask to see who’s he with! (imagine?)

I know.I know that’s not good, but I can’t help it. I’m still struggling with this issue. I’ll work on this.

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Kidd Design Discloses

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Welcome

Welcome!

If you're a young parent like me looking for information on parenting, kids and babies you've come to the right place. Sit back and enjoy reading.

Toodles.

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